“Admiral, there’s been a major escalation in the South China Sea! We need a firm, yet delicate touch, what is the best ship in our Navy?”

“Why, I know just the vessel for the task. The best of the best. I sometimes call it simultaneously the foundation, pillar and steeple of our elite (albeit low to mid-level power) Navy. Call for the HMAS Situation!”

“Oh, the storied glory of that illustrious centrepiece! Some say it has no captain at all, others say that every man aboard is fine enough to be the ship’s captain! Others say there is neither crew nor captain aboard and it is operated only by ghosts.”

Accompanying those mythic rumours are even more peculiar whispers! It could be that a lady-nurse is the Captain! Often there are arguments in mess halls and navy barracks, with one other notable faction insisting that a ginger boy has been allowed to take the Captain’s mantle…

These bizarre theories that quietly pass between the bunks of crewmen well past midnight only serve to strengthen the allure of the mighty ship across seamen at all levels across the Navy. Any mention of that great ship’s name in operation today instantly brings silence to the room and then hushed echos:

“HMAS Situation”

“HMAS Situation”

“HMAS Situation!”